What the F**k Should I Wear on the School Run?
Ah, the school run … At the top of my wardrobe is a vacuum pack bag full of clothes from my former life. A Karen Millen dress (with a waist!). A leather jacket. Vests that cling. Jeans with a 28 waist and no elastic. What actually hangs in the wardrobe is a different story. Maternity […]
Mean Mothers and School Gate Bitches
My friend just told me I’m in a pretty militant mood today, so just to prove her right, let me bitch about the mean mothers at our school gates. Now don’t get me wrong. Most mums are lovely. You’re probably a mum yourself, and I bet you’re ever so nice. But the school gates are a […]
Bad Mother’s Diary – New Motherhood Fiction
After I had my first daughter, I was DESPERATE for motherhood fiction, stories about birth, pregnancy, pelvic floor incidents … the whole deal. I devoured I Don’t Know How She Does It, but I couldn’t find any other funny, realistic motherhood fiction. So I decided to write a new romantic comedy series, based on babies […]
I Just Want to Sh*t in Peace
Once upon a time, I used to love reading on the toilet. Not great literature. Closer magazine (Heat’s cheap little sister – it’s 50p less, you know) made great bathroom reading. These days, the bathroom is no longer a sanctuary. No matter what I’m doing, the kids want to do it with me. Even in the ‘stinkiest room in the house’ ...
Is my toddler is drunk?
Uh oh! BAD parenting alert! Bad parenting indeed! I have a friend whose toddler accidentally drank half a bottle of Bacardi Breezer. After a visit to Accident and Emergency, they were told to go home, keep an eye on things and basically just wait until the alcohol wore off. What happened? Their toddler had what […]
Kids Not Eating Breakfast …. grrr
Kids not eating a healthy breakfast? Mine too. If it’s healthy, time-consuming to prepare and uses expensive (possibly even organic) ingredients, she won’t eat it. Nor will her big sister, come to think of it. My kids not eating breakfast drives me mad. “Look! Look at what I made you! A delicious porridge with sesame […]